When The world gives my lemons I make lemonade,but I wont drink it if it's pulpy

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 20:10:58 GMT

my mom found these picture

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:30:39 GMT

started classes on wednesday. feels good not to ge a fresman any longer. I have classes monday wednesday and friday. Im really freaked out by communications, dont know how i feel about giving speeches. Besides that i got american government, math107 and philosophy, all core requiremnets. After this semester hopefully i will be peacin to umass boston, i should probably start that application soon. for some reason i havent been caring about shit lately. i fucking hate the rat race.

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 15:25:44 GMT

i feel wicked old.

Mon, 07 May 2007 16:39:30 GMT

today is my last day of classes yay! finals on wednesday, friday and monday, cant wait till after then!new work schedule for the summer which will take effect on may 22nd and its good kick ass it is as follows...
tuesday:12-4
wednesday:12-4
thursday:12-4
friday:12-4
sunday:4-9
yay! i get to go out again!

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:25:59 GMT

sunday-work 4pm-8pm
monday-school 730am-5pm
tuesday-work 12pm-9pm
wednesday-school 730am-5pm
thursday-work 12pm-9pm
friday-school 730am-5pm
saturday-work 4pm-11pm
sunday-work 4pm-9pm

4 more days of classes, then i will have time to breath

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:12:54 GMT

So my classes end in like 2 weeks, its strange to think i will be a sophmore in college. In some senses I feel old and in others i dont, like if i think about high school it seemes so long ago, but yet again, i still live at home and depend on my parents for a lot of things. I really love my ma and dad, we get along and its good, we have a very "adult" relationship these days. My classes this semester were a joke. My spanish teacher dosent speak english, and its at 900 in the morning so basically everyone sleeps or uses their laptops. Child psych is easy, and crowded so you can get away with doing things other than actual child psych stuff. Anthropolgy is cool we talk about illegal immigrants, drugs and watch movies. And world history class is cool, because my teacher tells us about interesting stuff in histoy, like ASHURA(google image seach it, its FUCKED. So besides the fact that i hate being here, im really gonna miss my easy class load. Im pretty sure im gonna re-major in special education. HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

Above is examples of the traditions practiced during the festive of ashura

Monday April 16th

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:17:46 GMT

Monday april 16th I do not have school, i have work the sunday before but probably only till 9:00 i hope my friends also have it off, i need to see some of them that i havent in 31940865 years (lynne,sarah) I think that sunday night we should party, and monday(if others have it off) should also be spent with the people i miss,

Work/effed dreams

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 14:14:09 GMT

I got a job and now my life kinda sucks. I go to school and work about 30hrs a week. I used to hate the place, but its starting to grow on me because im not the new girl any more. So on monday night i was really sick and had a fever and stuff and and in my fevered sleep i had a series of strange dreems, i wrote them down because they were veryyyy bizzare

dream 1
my mom dies and everyone is crying and sad, except my dad who decides to make thier room into a gym(i woke up and thought it was true, i got up and looked in my parents bed, she wasnt dead thankfully)

dream 2
this one was really short my uncle ricky comes over and so does my neighbor phil, my parents and them drink some beers play some cards and then phil and ricky leave. My dad says "they still get along really well" and i say "what do you mean" my dad says "well when they were in jail they had a homosexual relationship and it didnt go to well" (neither phil nor ricky are gay)

dream 2
this one was the most fucked. So my brother kevin turns into a dog with rabies and bites my pug fester and my other dog sam and they get rabies. Im home alone with them and I dont know what to go, I call my mom and she tells me to shoot them all in the head. She says theres a shotgun under the bathroom sink. Meanwhile Kevin gets out of the house and is running around in the backyard, sam somehow ends up in a locked car, and i dont remeber seeing where fester was. I walk around the house with the shotgun looking for him, I go out to the car where sam is and its hot out and shes clearly dying of heat in the car. I go to the medicine cabinit get 3 yellow pills and give them to my brother fester and sam, I call my mom back and tell her they are fine, she tells me i should have just shot them all in the head.

PESSIMISM

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:07:55 GMT

I cant get this bit of conversation I had with a friends of mine out of my head, because sometimes I feel insane/cynical

LYNNE: we go to school, to prepare for a job, to prepare for retirement, to prepare to die. and where do we end up? in the dirt.

ME: our goal in life is to do better then thoes before us, make more money, and leave a considerable amount behind so our familys dont have to worry about the finantial stresses of a funeral.

does anyone else every get an overwelming feeling of loathing for the world we live in

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:13:00 GMT

I dont know what the word for fear of impulsive animals is...but I definitely have it. We were talking about phobias in my psych class today and i definatly think i have one. When I was 3, My damn cat brought a unnaturally large jet black crow into my house while it was living. It flew into walls and the ceiling and knocked things over until my dad came home from work and beat it with a broom and managed to get it out a window. When I was 7 i got a new hamster after my 1st one died. The thing was satan. All it did was run on the stupid wheel and try to kill me with its razor sharp teeth, so we let it out in the woods. And to top it off on Saturday night at jenns house as we were getting ready for the night and possessed blood sucking bat flew by the mirror when jenn was in the bathroom getting ready, and chased jenns mom into a bedroom, her mom locked in in a room and it was going nuts. Jenns dad had to come home and suck it up with a vacuum. All of us with manly fathers are lucky. So if squirrels , rodents, birds, bats, and any other impulsive animal were exterminated from the earth I would be quite pleased.

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 18:21:24 GMT

i love the brandnew "demos" better then I do the "The Devil and God..." i feel kinda guilty saying this. I just like the songs a lot better IDK. I think i just love #3. Ahh well....

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 16:53:13 GMT

Yesterday was by far the worst day of my life. I wish it would stop replaying like a movie in my mind

LAST DAY OF CLASSES

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 14:46:59 GMT

Today is the last day of my first semester here at bwater. Last night was the last night i slept in my bed. Its all sad, but i really do want to leave. I returned my books yesterday and got 90 bucks so we had a bit of a celbration last night. Im gonna miss everyone. esp. Sarah, Julia, Christine, Bryan and the fact he has a car, Annemarie, nick, Blanca and Alyssa. Iw ill def be staying at bridgewater last on tuesdays because i will not give up nip tuck night. So i got 2 finals, friday and tuesday. Im SUCH a townie

LOLZ make the world go round

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 23:36:06 GMT

everyday you need a good LOL....today this was mine

Bsp62901: yo u need some rubbers?
Bsp62901: i got mad
DjC81113: not my style
Bsp62901: fuck raw eyy
DjC81113: whatever gets the job done
Bsp62901: haha
DjC81113: why do you have mad rubbers?
Bsp62901: i dont anymore i alrerady used them all
DjC81113: who was the lucky lady?
Bsp62901: hey i dont kiss and tell
DjC81113: quite the gentlemen eh
Bsp62901: haha yep
Bsp62901: fuck that if i nailed a girl i would go around telling everyone
DjC81113: yes i know this brian, and this is why girls dont like you
Bsp62901: thaa

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 20:54:53 GMT

baby fester

massive fester

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 16:54:48 GMT

So its wednesday im in english, everyone else is doing peer editing and im online my proff. is an old hunchback bat so she dosnt notice. I think I have a sleeping problem. For instance, after a long weekend of fun i was exausted and was looking forward to a restful night sleep, but, sunday night i couldnt fall asleep, i went "to bed" at 1 and didnt fall asleep until 4, and yet again last night I went to bed at 12 and didnt fall asleep until 5:30 it is the most frustrating thing in the world when you cant fall asleep and you cant stop thinking.
Ive come to the realization that living here at bridgewater is not for me. I feel less independant then I did living with my parents.Due to the drunk driving accident and stabbing that occured on campus last year security is severly hightened. Here at what I call home, you need to swipe the "connect card" to get into any residence halls, you need to sign in visitors and remain with them at ALL times. You also need to swipe your card to get into the bathrooms. The night is filled with cop sirens and lights. Undercover cops partol the parking lot, which has resulted in 3 of my friends going to the staion. Bail money is always a weekly exspendature. Also if you do not have work study (which i do not) it is close to impossible to find a job. I feel like i am in prison. The security officers who stand at shea durgin check your bags, and once the seal on my vitamin water was checked. Dont get my wrong, college is fun and there is always ways's around things but I dont feel like I do anything.
I want to go to school, I want a steady job, I want a car and i want control of my life. Im sorry for bitching I really am, im just not a very patient person.

college

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 18:24:47 GMT

i dont know if i want my old life back, or if im just dissatisfied with the life im living now.

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 03:24:43 GMT

Niggas know what I'm about out here
I don't toot my own horn 'cause I don't have to
You can run your mouth, I don't care
But if you get too close, I'm gonna clap you
It's too real out here to be scared
A real nigga gonna do whatever he has to
A man is the last thing you should fear
It ain't considered a crime unless they catch you
We all die one day (Obie Trice...go!)

[Obie Trice]
Niggas when I step up in the bar, faggots wanna look
Like you motherfuckers got Obie Trice shook
Like I'm gonna stand here as a man and
Let some queer ass funny looking nigga get the upper hand
I got issues, got no time, got guns that mourn niggaz' moms
Shoot up clubs and destroy niggaz' vibes
Everybody running for their motherfucking lives
Tough club niggaz, we leave early, cock back surely
Open up your fade, your grey brain meets motor city pave
Your nervous system still twitch off Jay Z
Ho's in animal skirts get mirked
Don't ever let a nigga tell you slugs don't hurt
Don't ever let a nigga tell you play the bar hard
Trust in "God"? It's 'cause you're about to catch a bullet scar
I give a fuck where you from, who you be with
Keep this a secret, right by the nuts
A 4-5 that'll light niggaz up and this 4-5 high make me not give a fuck

Niggas Know what I'm about out here
I don't toot my own horn cause I don't have to
You can run your mouth I don't care
But if you get too close I'm gonna clap you
It's too real out here to be scared
A real nigga is gonna do whatever he has to
A man is the last thing you should fear
It ain't considered a crime unless they catch you
We all die one day
(Lloyd Banks)

[Lloyd Banks]
But as long as I'm here, I'm gonna grab checks
And make my cash stretch longer than giraffe necks
Poverty will make your ass bet on words
Touch niggaz in jail make them wanna finish their last set
They say you live by the gun and die by the next nigga gun
If that's the case, then get a bigger one
You don't think I'm packed to pump cause I'm out of the hood
That's a stereotype like everybody that's black can jump
I'm in a white mink, the fabric is done
Cop rings like Mike [Jordan], [Larry] Bird, Magic [Johnson] and them
Out in Dallas in a palace where the Mavericks is from
Living lavish, I'm established, so the cabbage'll come
I'm the clouds, you don't see me in the train
I travel first class, you ain't even got a TV on your plane
You should be easy on my name, cause I ain't going back and forth
Your boss and your captain's soft (Bitch)

Niggas Know what I'm about out here
I don't toot my own horn cause I don't have to
You can run your mouth I don't care
But if you get too close I'm gonna clap you
It's too real out here to be scared
A real nigga is gonna do whatever he has to
A man is the last thing you should fear
It ain't considered a crime unless they catch you
We all die one day

[Eminem]
Cause we gonna bring it to anybody who want it
You want it? you gon' get it
Name 'em we gon' hit em, chew em up and spit em out
[HRRK-PTT]
Too much venom, and if you roll with 'em
We gonna fuck you up with 'em
I got too much momentum moving in my direction to lose
My shoes will explode, soon as you go to step in 'em (BOOM)
You know how we do it, when we do, how we do it, when we come through
G-Unit, D-1-2 and Obie, we all move like assassins
Ski masks and gloves: Consider this as a warning
Disaster comes faster than you can react to it, just ask Muggs
But we are fizast, fuck your little bitch ass up
We are not killers; my vato will have you shot though
Drag through the barrio and fucked like Kim Osario
Little sorry hoe ass, go ask B Real
We burn source covers like fuckin Cypress Hill
Did in the 90s, when you was in diapers still
Shady Records, "you better believe the hype is real"
This is no joke, I don't smoke
But I toke enough second hand to make my fuckin "P.O." choke
I'm an OG; you fuckin with a GI Joe
Bia Bia, mia meo a Vida loco
I'm a psycho, Mariah aint got shit on me
When I retire I'll be spitting baby food on people
At San Ysidro Ranch, huddled up next to her
With Hello Kitty slippers on, humping her legs
You ever had your cap peeled back, or your shit pushed in?
I put my blade in you like a fucking pin cushion
Slice your ear clear off, Smirnoff and indo
I'll show you how to kill a fucking man like Sen Dog
Nobody told you that I'm loco, esse?
I lack every sane chemical in my membrane
I'm Slim Sha..."D" in the "Dy" is for "deez nuts"
And you can get each one for free so feast up
I pee in a cup for three months; I'm having an E party for Easter, please come

[50 Cent]
We gonna bring it to anybody who want it
You want it? you gon' get it
You name 'em, we gon' hit em, chew 'em up and spit em out
Too much venom and if you role with 'em
We gonna fuck you up with 'em
You can do all them push ups to pump up your chest
I got a 12 gauge Mossberg to pump up your chest
Have you gasping for air after that shell hit your vest
Fear me like you fear God cause I bring death
Silverback gorilla in the concrete jungle
I'm the strongest around you know how I get down
I watch gangster flicks and root for the bad guy
And turn it off before the end cause the bad guy die
If you trying to buy guns, I'm the nigga to look to
So what they got bodies on 'em, they still look new
You can raise your voice like you fiendin' to touch something
When I raise my knife, shit, I'm fiendin' to cut something
See I walk like Ron O'Neil and talk like Goldie
If the bitch think I love her, then the bitch don't know me
(50 Cent: Ha-ha, Sorry Kim, ha-ha)
(Eminem: oh, sorry..oh)

Niggas Know what I'm about out here
I don't toot my own horn cause I don't have to
You can run your mouth I don't care
But if you get too close I'm gonna clap you
It's too real out here to be scared
A real nigga is gonna do whatever he has to
A man is the last thing you should fear
It ain't considered a crime unless they catch you
We all die one day

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 16:45:39 GMT

schools pretty good. theres lots of "stuff" to "do". Moving up in the world and shit. my roommate from oregon is moving back to oregon. Ive gotten used to her though. Shes not that bad. I think after living with her and seeing how hard she works and how shes 18 and and is in a serious relationship with 2 kids is pretty amazing. I think im better at accepting different people. I think i can just look at love better rather than sexual orientation. I made a grilled cheese on a coffee maker yesterday. Im boke as fuck. but i like living for myself. My other roommate Krystal is cool. Shes fun to smoke w. My classes kinda suck and ive been slacking like never before. Although i dont have a facebook i guess theres a group "i met all my friends at the smoking bench". Thats cool. Polar bears are gonna be extinct soon becasue of global warming.

woah summer

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 21:18:53 GMT

yeah summers over. i move out tomorrow. it dosent seem real. it was really though on me. ive been sad since thursday, but im starting to get better. lynne moved to northeasten and she seems to be having fun. jenn and taylor moved in today, sarah moved today, ryham moved today. i packed all day today, and i went food shopping. my mums cars all packed my check in is at 915 tomorrow morning. eekkk im still scared!

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 22:11:38 GMT

i have definitely reached the point in my life where i cant stand to live at home anymore and be owned.

6 days i thik i missed 1

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 03:25:57 GMT

I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.
You're always made up.
And I'm sick of your tattoos,
and the way you always criticize the Smiths... and Morrissey.
And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.
But when I say let's keep in touch,
I really mean I wish that you'd grow up.
This is the first song for your mixtape.
And it's short just like your temper,
but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...

I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.
You're always made up.
And I'm sick of your tattoos, and the way you don't appreciate Brand New or me
And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.
But when I say let's keep in touch,
I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up.
This is the first song for your mixtape.
And it's short just like your temper,
but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...

(yeah, but I wish you were my shadow.

8 days

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:41:37 GMT

Passed out on the overpass
Sunday best and broken glass
Broken down from the bikes and bars
Suspended like spirits over speeding cars
You and me were kings over the parkway tonight
And tonight will go on forever while we
walk around this town like we own the streets
and stay awake through summer like we own the heat
Singing "everybody wake up (wake up) it's time to get down"
(everybody, everybody wake up its time to get down)
And when I pass the bottle back to Pete
on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)
cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

The hell out of this town
Find some conversation
The low fuel lights been on for days
It doesn't mean anything
I've got another 500, 'nother 500 miles
before we shut this engine down,
we shut it down

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)
cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever)

(you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)
Eighteen forever (first kisses)
(your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)
So we can stay like this forever (new stitches)
(you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
And we'll never miss a party (collar weekend)
(and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)
cause we keep them going constantly (appearance ticket)
(you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)
And we'll never have to listen (November to...)
(your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)
to anyone about anything cause it's all been done (...remember)
(you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
and it's all been said (nightswimmers)
(and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

Just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous...

9 days

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 17:01:49 GMT

i'm sinking like a stone in the sea.
i'm burning like a bridge for your body.

i'm sinking like a stone in the sea.
i'm burning like a bridge for your body.

i'm sinking like a stone in the sea.
i'm burning like a bridge for your body...

10 days

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 17:04:15 GMT

It's funny how your worst enemies always seem to
turn out to be all of your
best friend's best friends
But I folded and I told
These aren't the things I've saved to sink you
but I folded, I told
So draw or throw and I will explode

It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
And you are far too cute or whatever he said

Every time I hear it I am wishing I was great
I wish her... past tense my best friend
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I say to save me
But I folded, I told
I hope she's caught in the explosion

It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
And you are far too cute or whatever he said

It's time for you to choose
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
This is me in his room
This is me in his room
This is me in his room

Red, gold, I told
We don't play fair
Red, gold, I told
We never stand too close

So I update this almost every single day for you
I begin to hate you for your face, not just the things you do
Go tell him how my wrist is sore
from pulling at your insides all night
Nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you